The deeper I get into my work, the more I neglect other things of equal importance, this blog being one of them. 'Aging' is both enfuriating and compelling, being in it and of it, I'm complicit in ageism's web of seduction as I buy age defying creams. Why do I do this? who cares? who sees? Well..............I care apparently. I've been reading a lot on the subject lately, Margaret Gullette is voluble in her plea for us all to write our narratives of aging, thereby dispelling the myths which abound, the culture which spawns inner voices of inadequacy. So, today, I did a collage to see again, 'how I feel'. This time I did write the words beforehand, in my journal, assuming that they would steer the visuals. They didn't. What came out was like black tar; heavy, depressing, negative preconceptions of times past. I want them gone! Images speak volumes.
I'm about to set off for Shetland for a whole month of quiet reflection, huge seas, wind, rain and gentle light......................much like my own island home but bigger in every sense, I can't wait. My restlessness is annoying even myself today; case laid out, materials sorted, books selected, I hate being organised but need to see myself as such. I might add bits and pieces to the blog while I'm there. My mind is blank in that I have no idea what I'll feel, make, think. I hope that I'm able to leave but sense that it will be difficult to walk away, to come back down. We'll see.